Golf Vacations

Curiouslady12345 asked:


Thank you all for your good answers! I have asked: (Should I report my brother-in-law to the police?) two times previously and this time I am changing my question to reflect what I have learned.

I can prove that my brother-in-law did not provide my handicapped sister with the medication prescribed for her after her surgery. He admitted that in writing. (She got pneumonia and died.)

I also can prove that he allowed her to vomit for five weeks and did nothing to help her. He admits this in writing. He did not call her doctor. (The doctor’s office would have a record of a call for help.) Vomiting daily would certainly contribute to malnutrion. Her weight at the time of her surgery at the end of August was 130. At the time of her follow-up visit it was 113 pounds on October 3rd. Her weight upon re-admittance to the hospital Dec. 6th was 98 pounds. Clearly he had to be aware of her weight loss. He had to carry her to the bathroom.

Maybe physical therapy, home health care and nutritional services are not required after surgery, but why did he not allow anyone to help him? He had no plan for backup if he became ill. He refused all offers of help and suggestions of comfort for my sister. He said he could do it all. What was he trying to hide?

He writes in another email that my sister has decided not to eat and wants to keep sleeping so she won’t have to use the bathroom. He allowed her to self-neglect and should have been a advocate for her health.

I did call social services after I was cut off from my sister by him at the end of October. They went in to the house and spoke to her. They called me later and said she was not being abused and therefore they did not pursue the case. In December, when I found out she was near death in the hospital, I called them back and said, “What happened? You told me she was not being abused and she has a bedsore and pneumonia now.” Then the head of the department gave me the details of the visit in October. They asked her if she was being beaten and she said no. They asked her if she was being starved and she said no. They asked her if she wanted to go to the hospital and she said no. Of course not! That was her unreasonable fear. So the bottom line is that the report reflects she refused services. I think my sister was incapable of self-care at this point and so exhausted by the pneumonia that she had no sense of what to do to make herself better. She had no contact with anyone who could encourage her or give her advice on how to help herself. She lived 700 miles away from me and 2000 miles from my other two sisters. I considered just showing up at her house, but I knew he had the right to refuse me entry. Nobody who went to visit her was ever allowed to see her.

I can prove that he was abusive in writing to my younger sister using curse words and excessively crude language. Maybe this is not illegal, but it paints the picture of an abusive personality.

I can prove that he cut her off from us and would not allow us to call her or contact her. He sent back unopened cards and letters that my younger sister tried to send to my ill sister. My poor sister never knew we were desperately trying to get in touch with her to support her. Social isolation is a provable example of emotional and psychological abuse.

I can prove she had a bedsore large enough to require morphine. He let her have this bedsore and pneumonia without seeking treatment for her. That is provable.

I have made up my mind to call the District Attorney tomorrow morning. Those of you who have suggested I forget the whole thing have not been cut off from a loved sister by a diabolical husband. Just to let you know what a sweetheart he is: 1) He is not having any service for my sister, of course not, he would have to pay for a meal for the attendees, 2) her obituary was about two sentences long -remember, every line costs more money!, and 3) the deeply-grieving widower is shortly leaving for a month-long golf vacation in the Carolinas. My sister had been dead less than two weeks when he made sure we all knew what he was planning.

Thank you all for your great suggestions and support.

Adult Cpr Instructions